The Truth of Loss

I’m not sure there is a single person who has not experienced great loss in their life. Someone they loved passed from this earth. As Christians, we believe they are in a place of rest until Jesus return when the dead in Christ will rise first (1st Thessalonians Ch. 4 verse 6). One would think that it would be easier to cope when someone so close to us is gone.

I lost someone very close to me and I am having a hard time accepting it. My brother-in-law was like my brother, both in Christ and in our tight relationship. He was an amazing uncle to his niece and nephews and always ready to lend a hand. Ask almost any Christian in our congregation about their roofs (he had lots of roofing experience). But because of recent struggles he faced against some powerful demons, he fell as a warrior on the field of battle.
He wasn’t what we would stigmatize as a junky (it sickens me to write it). He was a very loving and caring person who simply faced a demon that most can’t understand. He didn’t always have to face this demon. His church family and mine let him be himself. He could feel safe and work on bettering himself. It was important to understand that it was not if he would slip again but when he slips up again. Further, what he does next. Unfortunately, his last slip lead to an accidental substance poisoning that ended his life at age 33.
So I prayed for strength and understanding through this and God lead me to some answers. To some very real truths. First, What happened, happened because it didn’t happen any other way. It’s a silly sounding truth the way it is written but it’s incredibly powerful. God has always been clear about his truths; arguing them means you will always be 100% wrong. The book of Job in the bible is a great example of this truth.
My take away from that truth is that I am not in control on the circumstance but rather my reaction to it. It still hurts knowing I’m not getting a text say, “Hey bro what’s up?” or someone coming over to help me with my summer renovation projects. Understanding the reality that someone is gone, even until Jesus return, doesn’t mean that it will be easy to cope with.
Paul the apostle discussed this very thing found in the book of Philippians chapter 2, verse 27 when talking about his friend Epaphroditus, “Indeed he was ill, and almost died. But God had mercy on him, and not on him only but also on me, to spare me sorrow upon sorrow.” Doesn’t it seem odd that the apostle Paul would experience sorrow upon sorrow? He recognized that the world needs people in it be build relationships and experience love. When someone is gone from this world, that goes with it but only the memory remains.
For now, it is important to understand that the loss you experience, the sorrow and sadness is okay. It is reality. To argue it would only make you wrong and not change a thing. Because what happened, happened. From here, we learn new truths. We learn that they are no longer suffering or fighting the good fight. They can find true rest. We can find peace in knowing that they are finally at rest. Let us be sad that we lost someone so close and find acceptance in knowing it was exactly what needed to happen.
God is our strength. He will give to us whatever we need to continue to grow in our relationship with him. We need to ask through prayer.
In loving memory of Adam Bedell, 1987-2021
- Jeffrey Wright